The title is more of a note to myself, because I totally contradicted myself on this advice recently... I should really start listening to my own advice...
Why do those close to us insist on hurting themselves? Cigarettes. Drugs. Alcohol. All that kind of stuff. We don't like it when they do that, because we care about their well-being. But is it up to us to dictate what mistakes they make?
Are we our best friends' keepers?
This weekend, one of my best friends went down town with a group of her friends and did something called "hookah," which is sort of a midground between a drug and like, a pack of cigarettes. Okay, so sue me for exaggeration. If you really care, look it up on Wikipedia. That's what I did.
Anyway.
I told myself I wouldn't be mad at her. At first, I was. Then I realized it was her life, her mistake to make. She went through with it, and I was absolutely, entirely livid. I still am. But it's not my job to tell her what to do. It's not your job to tell your friends what to do. It's their life to live, their mistakes to make.
How much of it is our business?
This much: 0%
Leave it be, and let them fuck up for themselves. That doesn't mean you have to care for them any less, that you have to love them any less. If it gets too out of hand, maybe you should talk to someone that they will listen to. But until it gets to that point... just keep your nose out of it. Do yourself a favor and just don't get involved. You might lose a friend if you do.
~J*~
Got questions?
thesearetheyears@gmail.com
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