Crush... Crush... Crush, crush crush (2, 3, 4!)

(Title credit - Paramore, "Crushcrushcrush")

I've recently been confronted with a problem. Two of my best friends are crushing on the same boy. Said boy is currently involved in a quite serious relationship. However, only one best friend is the focus here, because she is the one that feels strongest for this boy. Needless to say, not only is the boy clueless, but because he is involved in a relationship, the feeling is unrequited. Granted, Best Friend hasn't really hung out with the guy before... that much. She's known him for a couple years, but hasn't really started talking to him until fairly recently.
Now that I've given some background, I can go into the more unbiased side of this. The general, gray area of advice.
When we have feelings for someone, and the object of our affection is in a relationship, how do we handle it?
Can we handle such situations rationally?

Rationality centers around our ability to take things in stride and move on with our life. You cannot contorl your feelings. No one can. It's impossible to control what your heart tells you to feel. No one likes feeling love for someone that can't be returned. But when there's another element in the way - a boyfriend or girlfriend - one needs to learn when to back off and let things happen as they happen. Do not try to get involved with that relationship, or try to end it. As my friend's old biology teacher said, "Love is about being in the right place at the right time." For whatever reason, you're supposed to feel that way for that person. Maybe it's to help you cope with that pain. Whatever the reason be, you absolutely cannot try anything to sabotage that person's relationship for your own personal gain. You cannot do that, because you're putting that person through pain, and if you really cared for them, you wouldn't hurt them like that.
Not only should you not try to sabotage the relationship, but when you know the object of your affection is in a relationship, you should not hang all over that person. You should not be all touchy-feely. You should give them their personal space and back off. Either the physical contact will be unwanted on their part, or they will feel confused and/or helpless, and return the physical affection. This sends so many wrong signals back and forth and complicates things further.
Back off.
Do not try anything with this person. You can't stop feeling what you're feeling, but you can't sit and pine away and wish for things that may or may not have changed anything. Wishing something could've been different in the past - having regrets - makes everything worse. So don't try to hide from your feelings. But don't let your life revolve around those feelings, or that person. It makes everything harder and worse for you. Pining away makes you want the thing you can't have even more. Continue living your life.

~J*~

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