"I Can't Very Well Be In a Relationship With Someone Who Won't Talk to Me, Now Can I?"

"For a while, everything was going great in my relationship. But recently, my boyfriend has avoided talking to me. I asked a friend of ours who lusts after my boyfriend, and she admitted that they had spoken in the time that he had not responded to me. So I called my boyfriend, and mentioned that he hadn't responded to my texts, and he said "I know." He then told me he had to go. Now he's back to not talking to me. I think he won't talk to me because during our last actual conversation, he kept trying to change my mind about saving myself for marriage. He knows that he could get sex from other girls, and has in fact received offers from these girls, but he said he had no reason to go to them as long as he had me. He knows that I hate the sexual things we do, and that I really don't want to do that anymore. He seemed understanding at the time, but now he won't talk to me. I also suspect that his constant sneaking around with me, and tendency to tell me one thing but tell someone else the same story but with different, often contradictory details, mean that he may be seeing another girl behind my back. How should I handle this situation?"

---

Your body is your temple. I know it sounds amazingly corny, but it is true. You feel that your decision to save yourself for marriage and remain "pure" is the right decision, and that needs to be respected. His actions belie his words when he says he respects this decision, and then refuses to talk to you seemingly because of it.
Your mutual friend that he has talked to instead of you probably puts out, and there is a better-than-decent chance that he's trying to get into her pants because he can't get into yours. I'm not saying this is right - it isn't at all. Your decision to save yourself is, in my opinion, a wise and very patient one.
Being a teenage boy, it is no surprise that he is all about sex. However, just because teenage boys have a higher sex drive than teenage girls doesn't mean they should totally ignore the emotional part of the relationship, which he seems to be doing.
Also, he should be grateful that you were participating in sexual activities which you were not comfortable with in the first place. For him to feel "cut off," while somewhat understandable, is not fair in the least. He may be sex-driven, but sex shouldn't be driving the relationship.
If you feel that you two no longer have anything in common, and that all he wants from you is sex, and he may possibly be cheating on you, if this was under normal circumstances, I'd say break up with him. However, he is not giving you an opportunity to talk to him, so he either is simply not happy with you, or because he is not "getting any," he views the relationship as over.
Either way, the relationship is, pretty much, over. Since he is not giving you a chance to talk to him, do not try to talk to him. Do not text, IM, or call him. If he tries to come to you, ignore his attempts at communication. Not for the sake of revenge, but because, simply, the relationship has withered and died, and you have no reason to talk to him, especially since he was disrespecting your decision so blatantly.

-J

Got questions?
thesearetheyears@gmail.com