Feeling Dictatorship

"this boy is convinced he is in love with me but i don't like relationships and i keep TELLING him that but he's convinced i'm just afraid of being hurt which yeah partly is a problem but that's not the reason i don't want a relationship with him. the worst part is he keeps saying, 'when you're ready for a relationship, i know you'll choose me.' because i WONTTTT!"

The first thing you need to do is make it clear that you need your space. If this has been going on for so long, and he's harrassing you, you need to tell him to back off. No more Mr. Nice Guy... or Ms. Nice Girl... Whichever. This guy needs to know when no means no and enough is enough. Now, I'm not saying be a downright bitch, but be firm, and make yourself and your position clear.
He knows you're not ready for a relationship, and he clearly doesn't respect it, which is proof in and of itself that he doesn't "love you." Infatuation? Sure. Bordering on obsession? Possibly. But if he's pressuring you into dating him eventually, that's not love. If he really loved you, he would know to back off without you saying anything. Your attitude should be enough, but since he obviously can't take the hint, be more direct - no matter how you think it might hurt him. Some people need to be bitch-slapped by reality to wake up.
Tell him that he can't tell you how you feel. Only you know who you like, but no one - not even you - knows who you will like. For him to say you'll pick him when you're ready, that's totally unfair. He keeps putting you in awkward positions, and it's totally unfair to you. That's not love and dedication. That is, as I said, pressure bordering on obsession.
If you're being pressured into a relationship, or being made to feel guilty, or being told how you feel about someone, tell that person to piss off. No lie, no one has any right to make you feel one way (intentionally), or tell you how you feel. It pisses people off, and it just puts everyone in an awkward, irritated funk. No one likes feeling like that.
So even if you're just a naturally nice person, sometimes you just have to be firm. If they get hurt, they'll heal eventually - we all do. And if they hate you afterwards, they obviously didn't "love" you in the first place. You told them how you feel, now let them deal.

~J*~

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